Where's my tiny violin?

Longtime Trump adviser Roger Stone blasted out a 1,600-word statement this week asking for help paying the nearly $460,000 worth of legal fees he has incurred since landing in the crosshairs of the federal and congressional Russia investigations.

  Business Insider

It's expensive for crooks to stay out of jail, but more to the point: does Roger Stone not have $460,000? Maybe look into those Paradise Paper documents, and I bet he's got a bridge to sell.

Stone, whose contact with Russia-linked hacker Guccifer 2.0 and WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange during the election have come under scrutiny has part of the Russia probes, said it cost him $400,000 in legal fees to prepare for his testimony before the House Intelligence Committee last month.

Waaaaaaah.

"I have yet to testify before the US Senate Intelligence Committee and anticipate that the legal representation I require for that exchange will easily put my legal bills even closer to the million dollar mark," Stone wrote.

What? You can't use the same advice? Or do they charge that much to sit beside you at the hearing?

"You can do so your contribution of $25, $50, $100, $250, $500, $1000 or more would be a Godsend."

I'd call it a fleecing.

"I am not a wealthy man, by any means," Stone said in his emailed appeal. "Such a crushing expense, with nothing to show for it except my vindication against a juggernaut of political dirty tricks and lies, threatens to destroy me and my family financially- all because I fought to elect Donald Trump. All because the deep state partisans know I will continue fighting for his agenda."

Says the lying sack of shit and original tricky Dick author of political dirty tricks and lies.

"I am certain Special Counsel Mueller and his chummy side-kick, fired-FBI Director Jimmy Comey, intend to try to remove our President, in collusion with Democrats, many of whom are openly plotting a literal coup d’etat against the President of the United States."

Or maybe they're all just bringing him to some measure of justice for his own crimes and lies.  If you haven't already and are able, watch the documentary "Get me Roger Stone." 

"In my case, representing the campaign to speak to a group of over 50 foreign ambassadors during the RNC in Cleveland, combined with ensuring our campaign's national security policies were reflected in the GOP platform the week prior, have led to nearly 5-figure personal legal bills," [Trump campaign national-security official JD Gordon] said.

[...]

"It sure would be nice if the re-election campaign could reimburse these costs since all of my actions were in accordance with official campaign duties," Gordon said.

Maybe you can sue The Most Notable Loser to recoup.

Another early Trump campaign adviser, Michael Caputo, told reporters recently that he had to take $30,000 out of his children's college fund to pay for lawyers.

Boo-hoo.

The family of former national security adviser Michael Flynn, meanwhile, set up a defense fund for the retired general in September to pay for legal fees that could top $1 million. Mueller has reportedly gathered enough evidence against Flynn and his son, Michael Flynn Jr., to bring charges against them related to their work lobbying on behalf of Turkish government interests during the campaign.

Maybe don't be doing shady shit next time.

 ...but hey, do what you want...you will anyway.