Retreat (In Every Sense of the Word)

[T]his weekend, President Donald Trump, first lady Melania Trump and presumably 11-year-old Barron are testing the woodsy digs at Camp David, the rural presidential getaway deep in the mountains of Maryland. It will be the President's first trip to Camp David, and his first weekend overnight trip away from the White House not at a Trump-named property.

It's an unusual decision for the President, who is widely known as someone who doesn't like to disrupt his daily routine or spend weekends anywhere except at Trump-branded properties.

More to the point on this weekend's overnighter, the President appears to have a predisposed opinion of Camp David, which he shared with a European journalist shortly before he was sworn in.

"Camp David is very rustic. It's nice, you'd like it," he quipped. "You know how long you'd like it? For about 30 minutes."

  CNN

Are there TVs to yell at?

I'm guessing this wasn't his idea.

"If and when they are at Camp David, the place will be stocked with his favorites, those Keebler Vienna Fingers cookies, and better have the Lay's potato chips," [Marti Mongiello, who in the 1990s worked as a chef and manager at Camp David] said, adding that the Secret Service will also have probably checked out the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken locations, just in case POTUS gets a craving. "You have to figure that out. They'll map, know, target and analyze how to get in and get out of at least three locations," he said.

[...]

"There's a great element of secrecy," Thurmont Mayor John Kinnaird told CNN in March. "But, I like to say, it doesn't really affect the residents. The President comes and goes and we don't ever really know about it."

Trump, a lover of pomp and circumstance who craves the roar of a crowd, probably won't like that part much either.

And then there's the mice.

[...]

There's skeet shooting, basketball, tennis, horseback riding, rock climbing, a movie theater, bowling, even laser tag --

Right up the Trumps' alley.

Will they make it the whole weekend?

-- not to mention so many hiking trails that it's easy to get lost.

Please, God.

Still, if activities and relaxation aren't his thing, Trump might want to consider Camp David for work purposes.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.